I might regret posting this later, but...

that’s only because I put on a front a lot like things don’t phase me. Always being the “tough girl.” And actually, I think I AM a tough girl. Because of that though, sometimes I feel silly if I let out any emotion in front of others.

But I’m going to suck it up and let that go for a moment.

For those of you that don’t know, me moving to the bay area was a HUGE deal.

The events all leading up to it were all incredibly stressful, shitty, trying and beyond anything I’ve ever experienced thus far in my life.

I won’t go through the whole story (believe me, it’s long and difficult to even share) but I was so hurt, stomped on by one of the people that should count most in my life, and in such an incredibly depressed, low place to the point that I was scaring myself. It got SO bad that if one more day went by with the way I was feeling, I was going to check myself in to a hospital out of fear that I’d end up doing something to myself, because I came seconds away from doing so on several occasions. Thanks to my friend Lee, I moved up to the bay area and was given a helping hand. I had shelter and food in my stomach.

Since I’ve been here, not only have do I work for a place I absolutely adore, but I’m happier. The work, the people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had and the response that my art has been getting? Words cannot even begin to describe how incredibly grateful I am. On the first few days of me moving in with Lee, he asked me if I ever cried tears of joy. I said I never have, and that was the truth.

Today, I bought some canvas and art boards and with all the response I’m getting from people and then selling a SKETCH of all things within two days of BARELY posting the piece of sale??? I lost it, in the best way possible. You have to remember that I came from a very dark, negative, disheartening, emotionally abusive place, to living in dream land.

So to go from that, to this? I cried tears of joy the entire way home, art supplies in hand. I’m just so incredibly overjoyed that I have made it this far.

Lee obviously was the catalyst/the helping hand I needed and for that I am FOREVER grateful. And so many of you have been supportive, whether you know it or not. You may think it was something small, or something that isn’t that big of a deal but believe me when I say it means the entire world to me.

So thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for helping me step out from under that dark cloud. Thank you for giving a damn.

Thank you for breathing life in to me.

…alright now I’m going to stop being an emo vagina so, as you were you shitheads ;) haha.

:) Oh come on! You knew I couldn’t just post that (which is all 100% true by the way, don’t let this addition let you think otherwise) and NOT poke fun at myself for it. It’s how I roll, yo.

But again, thank you.

:)))))))))))))))))))

politics, vanity and blogging

And oddly enough none of these topics are related. It’s all just random thoughts I’m spewing out.

Politics-

Regardless of what you think of Obama or Hilary, talk about a momentous time in history! Granted, I dislike how sharply divided people have been in regards to Obama/Hilary but wow. Aside from the troubles the world faces in this day and age, I am incredibly pleased to be living through this history.

A black man and a woman both within reach of a nomination for the presidency?

It’s not very eloquent BUT, THAT is fucking awesome. Especially considering that in the not so distant past (in the grand scheme of things) there were struggles for both people of color and women.

Awesome.

That said, I should clarify that I support Obama. That was probably obvious to those of you that know me. I found there were several policies that he has that Clinton either lacked or differed on enough to want to vote for Obama. One thing that was driving me up the wall though were people that said they will vote for either/or just because “he’s black” or “she’s a woman.” I even read an article in the newspaper (by a self-proclaimed feminist) recently endorsing Clinton SOLEY BASED ON THE FACT THAT SHE IS A WOMAN.

Being a woman, I can understand, in a way, why that’s appealing. Several people (as of late) have even called me a feminist.

HOWEVER, I feel, that that is NOT AT ALL a good reason to vote for a candidate. In fact, I find it to be a completely ridiculous, blind and irresponsible reason to vote for a candidate.

I’m sorry but um, let me say it again one more time:

IRRESPONSIBLE

How about taking a look at each candidates policy proposals?

There are some differences that are very slight between Obama and Clinton, but there are differences.

Moving on, a lot of people are talking about how Clinton should be put in to the VP spot on the ticket and this is something that I am struggling like crazy with.

On the one side, you can potentially unify a lot of dems who have been divided through this entire nomination process. It would be two very strong, well-known names in one.

Then again you have those who are arguing that there are some who are SO incredibly divided over the issue, that supporters on both sides would not want to vote for Obama-Clinton ticket.

Furthermore: Many have asked if Clinton is on the ticket as a VP, what does that say about Obama and his themes of “change,” bipartisanship, not taking money from lobbyists & PACs?

Conclusion? I really don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about it. I do know that I WANT Obama in the white house. Getting him there is such a wild, unpredictable animal though that it’s driving me a little bit batshit crazy.

This is a very nerve-wracking and exciting time.

Vanity-

Hey! A totally unrelated and lighthearted topic :D

So having this as a tattoo on my back has been a plan for a while. And actually I’m undecided now because I kind of like the way my back looks blank (see corset photo). Then again, I want to have the tattoo as pure line art… gah. I can’t decide! haha.

I definitely have an itch for a half sleeve on one of my arms. I chose Mucha for my back because that’s what really pushed me further in to the arts. One of the artists that continued my interest though was Klimt. And one of my favorite pieces by Klimt is Water Serpents II…



Close-ups:





The challenge there then is will it look good as line-art or would it be better to have it in color? The colors ARE gorgeous, but I tend to be a fan of line-art tattoo on darker skin (and that’s what I have). I also like “splashes” of color so I always have that option. Hrmmm.

Decisions decisions.

Blogging-

In some ways I miss blogging. I am a talkative little squirt and a bit scatter-brained though so I never bothered keeping it up. But now with things like tags and categories… it’s possible to be that “all over the place” yet keep it organized.

I used to be really in to web design though back then. Now? I don’t want to put ANY effort in to it yet I still want it to look nice and not just be an automatic template.

Then again it might be helpful to spend time on it to better promote my art?

Yeah.
Also I’m sick of cross-posting things all the time. I rather do it all in one place and be done with it (case in point: this entry RIGHT here).

All right. Time to get some work done. NO MORE TALKING. SHHHH!

Re-thinking.

I’m re-thinking the use of my website

I tend to have an interest in a variety of things; art, music, random amusing things on the net, etc. I figured I should keep them all seperate but at the same time, I think it’s possible to keep them all in one. Especially now that I can use labels in blogger I think this is something I may end up doing instead of spreading it all out.

Although I really do like Tumblr (which I will be cross posting at) … agh. What to do, what to do.

That said, I have put up some of my sketches for sale over on Etsy. I haven’t put any of my other work for sale, mostly because they are all still in San Diego and I have to pick them up at some point. Once I have them, a lot of those will be posted as well.